The Abstract of a Normal Life.

Living a fulfilling life can mean many things to many people. So how do you know if you are? I think there are times when our struggles overwhelm us, and I think there are times when our joys go unnoticed, mostly by ourselves. Without knowing it, we can sometimes focus on our problems more than those things that make us truly happy. If we can just solve this, or solve that, we think we'll finally be at a place where we will be satisfied. 

Guess what? Living isn't always about solving the problems. It could be life was designed to be this huge puzzle and we will always be working on making all the pieces fit together. The thing is, the puzzle changes through time as we move into new phases of our lives. If you get stuck holding a piece of the puzzle from your past, it won't fit. The puzzle is different. 

So what do we do? How do you know things have changed? If you stop more often, even for a moment, and quit looking at the puzzle piece in your hand and look up at everything else around you, you will see and you feel what is different. You will know it's time to let go of the puzzle piece in your hand and pick up a new piece and begin anew with a better chance of success. 

But how? We've been looking so long to fit that one piece in, to make it belong, we know it inside and out. If you let yourself truly see and feel what's around you, you will know, what you are holding onto has no place and it is futile to try to jam it in where it will no longer fit. 

As a society, we call it 'letting go, and moving on'. We understand that for other people, but why is it so hard when it is us? Relationships, jobs, projects and sometimes personal beliefs have to be pieces that fit in the puzzle of today. If not, we're wasting our time. 

We know life is short, especially if we have experienced the loss of a loved one. Instead of trying to make our puzzle perfect and feeling unsatisfied that the pieces seem to never fit, maybe it's time to take a step back and be grateful for all the pieces we have managed to fit together. Smile at our accomplishments, and enjoy time as a way to see and feel alive, instead of feeling we are never caught up, never where we think we should be, and live in constant fear of failure, or of not doing something extraordinary before our time is up. 

What we forget to see and more importantly forget to feel is how fortunate we are for having a puzzle to work on at all. Whatever my puzzle looks like, it's my puzzle. And today, that's good enough for me. 

The letter that started it all...

Love… 

It has made every intelligent person a whole lot stupid than usual, and its hilarious really. Holding on, taking hold, looking into the bright side, hoping for a silver lining - it’s all too much. But still, we consciously drown ourselves in it. Why? Its something extreme, radical, volatile, unpredictable. Not knowing what’s on the bend gives us the chills and the thrills. It gives us a natural high, something not even a powerful, controlled drug can stir. Though sometimes, at the height of the flight, something, or someone, shoots us down. Nothing, not even an Olympic-sized trampoline, can break the impact of the fall. And so you get crushed and squished like a pancake. Yet as stupid as you are, you climb another cliff and give it another shot. 

Stupid, masochistic… 

So what do you do? Do you cower inside your shell, where it’s safe? Do you draw back to the usual, controlled environment you’ve been accustomed to? You surround yourself with the things you are familiar with, indulge in the things that comfort you, splurge in the constant and unchanging nature you created. Sure, you can do that - trite, and dull as hell though. 

Sweet lemon, substitution, cowardice… 

Life is about taking risks - or so I believed. And I don’t wanna spend this short span of existence in a fixed situation just because I don’t wanna get hurt. 

I want it all… 

I want it all… 

In the face of uncertainty, i grin. I know a great adventure is up ahead. And although I might get burned in this fire dance, I know I’ll be just fine. Let me cry a while, then you will see me soon, even more luminous than when you last saw me. 

Am I stupid? Maybe, maybe not. 

I just wanna live. Let me live. Let me love you. 

You fear for me? Don’t. You are worth the risk. Let me do this. I’m happy. I know what I want. And it’s you. I love you. I love loving you. 

And yes, I do realize that you need to learn how to fly. Every angel has his time of trying and learning to soar. And here, I await your return, when your wings are singed, when you get flustered from the painstaking but rewarding flight. 

I need to love. I need to live. But I don’t need you so I can live. I can live without you. ITS JUST THAT I CHOSE NOT TO. 

I will just be right here, waiting. 

Be with me.. I need you now... Right Here and Now. 

A Flicker of Light in the Dark

The Philippines is known as the Pearl of the Orient Seas, boasting both natural and human resources. We are known to be very amorous people who hold family in high regard. The spirit of a Filipino never falters in the face of hardship, turmoil and difficulty. Our mountains and caves never failed to amaze the world, earning us a spot in harboring some of the best attractions everyone has ever seen, both in the ancient and current era. Our land has lots of things to be proud of. 

Yet dark shadows in our community and in the way we do things are more noticeable than the above facts that should have catapulted us to the stage for others to genuinely admire. Even worse, we ourselves forget what we are worth due to these impurities.

When it comes to political governance, it would seem that others, and even ourselves, perceive the Philippine government to be corrupt, malicious and reeking of spiteful secrets. Countless revelations of under-the-table transactions gearing to personal gain have been rampant in all media, from TV, to radio, to internet sites. Most cannot help but wonder if there are still odious facts swept under the rug aside from the information we presume to be merely the tip of the iceberg. Distrust is the best adjective to what almost everyone has for what should have been a government of the people, by the people and for the people. This is not surprising at all.

Though it would seem that all hope is not yet lost. A bill reinforcing freedom of information is on its way for approval. This would potentially increase the public’s access to relevant knowledge that would have great effect on how our current situation would progress in all aspects as a nation. Each of us will get first hand awareness of the truth on each public issue, non-discriminating of education, gender and social stature. It would assure that everyone will be in the loop when it comes to matters concerning public interest, fostering transparency in every undertaking, every project, every action. Gone are the days that those public servants would simply say, “This is where your taxes go.” People are craving for full disclosure of all the transactions involving public interest as reputation and trust are not earned by words alone; it is awarded to those who act conscientiously even in the absence of the gaze of the society.

Indeed, this bill is timely. As a matter of fact, it has been of utmost need even before its time of drafting. We need to solidify our leaders’ obligations and responsibility to their people by creating open measures and policies under the spirit of integrity. Transparency would alleviate public unrest and give us all the inherent right to know what is and what is not. The current situation of our government and community greatly demands that matters concerning public interest should be properly and dutifully communicated. This would take time to be in effect and would require rigorous evaluation to smoothen whatever rough edges it might have, yet its potential is geared towards a better relationship between the government and the society as a whole.

It is never too late to try to make a 180-degree turn to make things right, or even better. Freedom of information would indeed assure us that nothing is hidden and all is factual. A light of veracity can illuminate the darkness from where we have been for the longest time due to deceit and selfish exploits. Trust can once more be gained, cooperation will surely follow. Then we would have more time to ponder on things we are good at, not on things to complain on. And surely, revival of our national pride will just be around the corner.

What Is Life?

One of the questions we really don't have the answers. What Is Life? There is no definite word to describe life. May it be scientific, religious, personal, or psychological, it always lead to debate, contradictions and even theories. If you will ask me what is Life, well I will answer that on what I observe from other people.

Life is beautiful and yet life is not a bed of roses. Though it is full of ups and downs it has many facets of blessings and successes.

To some people, life is hard, cruel and merciless. These set of people see life as punishment throughout their entire lives. They therefore resigned themselves to fate, believing all is finished. To them, nothing that they do can ever be good. They take delight in committing crimes and maiming others to avenge their ill-fortune. They lost every sense of direction and most times, some of them go as far as committing suicide, just to escape the injustice life has meted out to them.

But there are those who see life as a challenge, a channel of discovery and innovation, a prospect for success and a gateway to wealth. To them life is sweet, colorful and kind. No matter the situation these people find themselves, they keep pressing on, believing in a cause, a cause to succeed and get the most out of life. No wonder an adage says, “Where there is life, there is hope.”

The will to succeed or fail lies within an individual jurisdiction. You can live life to the fullest with utmost satisfaction and fulfillment if you determine with all your mind, body and soul to succeed. On the other hand, life can be miserable to you if you take everything for granted and wait on fate to play itself out.

Setting of goals and strategic plans that will strive no matter the odds which may move against you is one of the basic things needed to get the best out of life. These goals which must be result oriented, should be followed up consistently even if things seem blurred or unyielding at first.

Also, the mind is the center of everything. It controls your thoughts and beliefs. A focused mind has never fail. A positive mind helps one to discover his talents and potentials. Great men and women, both living and dead, had their minds focused on something and nothing deterred them from achieving their dreams. Each of them had a belief, should I say faith, which they held onto, they nurture the belief, focused all their attention and live on it. And today, we have benefited in one way or the other from their inventions and great ideas.

Life is a challenge. And for anyone to succeed in life, he must be ready to show the stuff he is made of. He must be ready to sacrifice his time and build up his mind frame toward success. What is happening in our environment should not influence or affect us in our daily quest for success in life. Instead, we should control the happenings around us.

Life is so easy, yet many people rush and miss what they want to achieve in life. Don’t rush in life. Take one step at a time. Each step should be properly planned before being launched. Steady, balance, mark and shoot. And before you know it, the sky will become the beginning of your success.

All the great men of today, has one way or the other tasted the other side of life but they did not cower. Instead, they were renewed to redefine their goals; they ride on with faith, believing in their potentials, focusing their mind on something, knowing fully well that in every black cloud there is always a silver lining.

I take life to be very simple and do you know what? Life is to be enjoyed. What about you? =)

Emotional Independence

At the beginning of our life and again when we get old, we need the help and affection of others. Unfortunately, between these two periods of our life, when we are strong and able to look after ourselves, we don’t appreciate the value of affection and compassion. As our own life begins and ends with the need for affection, wouldn’t it be better if we gave compassion and love to others while we are strong and capable?” - Dalai Lama 

I just recieved this text message from my good friend (Thanks to RJ) 

Feeling a bit sleepy but as per my boss. I should write. ( Fresh from the US trip) 

I couldn't find any interesting topic rather than this. 

Really, it is very curious to see that we are proud of our emotional independence. Evidently, it is not quite like that: we continue needing others our entire life, but it is a “shame” to show that, so we prefer to cry in hiding. And when someone asks us for help, that person is considered weak and incapable of controlling his feelings. 

There is an unwritten rule saying that “the world is for the strong”, that “only the fittest survive.” If it were like that, human beings would never have existed, because they are part of a species that needs to be protected for a long period of time (specialists say that we are only capable of surviving on our own after nine years of age, whereas a giraffe takes only six to eight months, and a bee is already independent in less than five minutes). 

We are in this world, I, for my part, continue – and will always continue – depending on others. I depend on my love, my friends and my work. I depend even on my enemies, who help me to be always trained in the use of the sword. 

Clearly, there are moments when this fire blows in another direction, but I always ask myself: where are the others? Have I isolated myself too much? Like any healthy person, I also need solitude and moments of reflection. 

But I cannot get addicted to that. 

Emotional independence leads to absolutely nowhere – except to a would-be fortress, whose only and useless objective is to impress others. 

Emotional dependence, in its turn, is like a bonfire that we light. 

In the beginning, relationships are difficult. In the same way that fire is necessary to put up with the disagreeable smoke – which makes breathing hard, and causes tears to pour down one’s face. However, once the fire is alight, the smoke disappears and the flames light up everything around us – spreading warmth, calm, and possibly making an ember pop out to burn us, but that is what makes a relationship interesting, isn’t that true? 


It takes FAR more courage to be vulnerable and open to those we love and who love us… and it’s not wisdom but fear which persuades us to be emotionally independent… 

this makes sense because if we feel we don’t have enough security within who we are, we balk at other’s needs… but if we are connected to Source at a deeply engaged level we are wide open to any and all needs – our own and from others – because we KNOW we are capable and strong.. no, because we KNOW we are Love, incarnate. 

And love is the antithesis of fear. 

I’ve found a deep truth in this and am so relieved I found it: its come at the most perfect time in my world… am SO SO SO excited.. so many view dependence as a weakness, so this may challenge them deeply, but I’ve just realized that being the conduit for other’s needs is such an immense service!!!!! 

What a tremendously exciting challenge: to retain your congruence and sense of self in the face of any demands placed on you by others… this is the precisely doorway/process that most tend to flee…. 

but it’s not about giving of Self, it’s about giving THROUGH self…. it’s about being able to plug so deeply into Universal Flow that you are not capable of being depleted!!!! 

this way, we become Service, incarnate… which is Divine Love, 

is it not???? 

Healing Cycles

Healing wounds… Why do we get so hurt in the first place? When we love someone, have deep compassion towards someone or something our whole being can get knocked off of it’s perch. We fall into a shattered heap and have to slowly work towards putting the pieces together again. I’m sure Humpty Dumpty wasn’t a very good nursery rhythm for children, teaching children that he couldn’t be fixed…hah! =))) 


Over the years we go through many disappointments, suffer loses, our egos get knocked around and we get back up and continue on. WE are AMAZING creatures, but sometimes so stupid in continuing on the same path, we loose touch of our sixth sense and sometimes take so long to learn that what is, IS. We can choose to learn from the universal forces, accepting that it is what it is. 

Everyday has something to offer, we choose our existence. Whether is is with the people we cross paths with for a moment or a lifetime. Things come and go and not becoming so attached to things is one of my lessons in life. Accepting life’s lessons is probably one of the most challenging things we are here to do. 

For me in healing wounds, I feel all the emotions… then work on the process that this is life, where millions of atoms, energy and forces all are working together in this world, giving me this experience to learn from, deal with or to accept:) 

Expecting the Unexpected

One of life's constants: Always expect the unexpected.

But for some reason, we can never know WHEN this will happen. Whether it is misfortune, opportunity, or just being at the right place at the right time, fact of the matter is, we will never know when these things will happen but instead of telling us that it will, it's telling us to prepare for them. 

But still, how do you prepare for love? How does one prepare for this particular feeling or event in one's life when everything is built and destroyed at the same time? How does one even contemplate or plan for things in advance when love is involved? The answer: NEVER.

Truth is no one can really tell when true love will come or go. Sure you may be starting out as a new couple, the first couple of months go well and dandy. But then as time progresses, you or your lover or both of you may lose interest in each other, leaving the love to slowly wither away until it dies, like a rose in full bloom and its petals slowly turning into grey, falling off one by one till there's nothing left. This is the sad truth. Even couples with relationships going past a decade end up in separation. No one can really tell when something so good will come to a sudden end. And yes, it's always so sad to see couples breaking up and the worst part would be to see how two happy people end up being the most hurt. They say that everything happens for a reason, that we lose something in hopes of gaining something better. Most people would find this unbelievable or heck, skeptical at this statement. But the people that do believe in this statement are those that actually think that there really is another chance given to us at another point in time. The most important part is to be patient for that one chance. 

It may not come now, it may not come tomorrow, but if it does, you'll be thankful that you have waited for something as beautiful as that thing they call love...

Love is a two-dimensional word

Love? 
A word with myriad implications. 

Quoting Woody Allen, ”If you are feeling tingly all over, you are either in love or having smallpox!!” 

Love is a blend of emotions, attraction,care,concern,passion,loyalty and according to me,perhaps more important an mirror image of friendship. 
Love is everything, all rolled into one. A mother’s passion, a friend’s care, a sister’s guidance, a teacher’s angst, a colleague’s robustness, a room mate’s concern and if not last, a lovers spat. 

Love is a dance which weaves a very intricate pattern, lulls everyone into false complacency, and has everyone swaying with it. It can be personified as the pied piper, leading one and all into the nadir of life, ravine of distress or the zenith of bliss but has that whiff of innocence. Its a swirling crescendo raging around which leaves behind aching souls or souls floating on the clouds. Its like the finest mead or wine, maturing with age and as strong as diamond, meant to withstand the tests of the time. 

Love discriminates none, and has little mercy. It leaves behind many victims but more beneficiaries. It doesn’t distinguish on the basis of color, caste or creed. And they say, people bitten by this bug gain ethereal happiness and bliss or i hear that. 

So, This is what i’ve heard about the bug. What i think is a very different matter. Its something like a complex number. The love we all have heard about is just the imaginary part, the real part is the part which actually also exists. The part where there is no fairy tale endings. I feel, love requires a certain level of maturity to be understood, the carving in its art being way to minute and intricate for us to even fathom about it. 

Love at first sight? 

"I believe in love at first site, 
coz i fell in love with my mother 
the moment i saw her.." 

That's believable, but the one we hear about every so often?No.I think they are just poor misguided souls,lulling themselves into thinking something which doesn't exist,into some sense of security.Feelings and attraction matter a lot but that package can be termed love only when compatibility is there.After all,its the long term we are talking about.And this is where "love is friendship" comes in,where the concern and care,sharing secrets and emotions,actually talking, comes before,way before,the intimacy of a relationship. 

And ya,am one those people who roll eyes when others gush about how deeply in love they are.Because frankly speaking,it begs a questions,at this age,how are you so sure that this is person you are gonna be sitting with,sipping tea,when you are old??As per the jargon, you've hardly played the field yet!! 

You can fall in love with a person's personality, but then do you know if your tastes and routines match?That's the question which should actually set the route,not those rugged features and to die for smile!!Those are the questions you should think about and then learn to compromise.For what is a relationship without compromise?just a civil wrestling competition.. 

Am one of those people who,whenever its said that "love is in the air",rush away from the spot,just so that we are not infected.So,if roaming around with your beloved hand in hand,looking at him with "lovelorn" eyes,batting your eyelashes every now and then,singing his praises high and loud(!?!),hanging onto his every word as if they are some sacred utterances,spending your every free moment either talking to him or thinking about him,drooling over the notebooks writing his name,going all gooey when his name's taken and then let him pick up the tabs for all the fun( list could go on..)is being in love,then sadly, am not cut out for it.. 

As they say,"All that glitters is not gold"..Yes,a relationship may glitter,look dazzling and cool but it comes with its own bundle of obstacles.And when we already have to spend the better half of our life in companionship,then whats the point of ruining our experience of single status from now itself? 

Yes, i believe in love, but the one where it means accepting a person completely,warts and all.The one mothers have for their children,the one that binds two best friends,sisters,siblings..not one of a kind but still special and mind blowing.Take it slow,take it steady,but then,take it for real.. but the fairytale love is still a mystery for me,waiting to be unraveled,sitting patiently,gathering dust but coming out dazzling even more than a diamond!! 
let the dust gather while i go off in the pursuit of that elusive something,let it pile up till am ready to accept and appreciate its worth.. 


meanwhile, goodnight. lol

Are We Prisoners of the Past?

I was inspired by one painting called Prisoner of the Past. it would make you ask a question that no one answered beyond the scope of standardized Ideas.

Are we, as humans truly Prisoners of the past?

The answer is Yes. Simply put. If humanity is to achieve its potential, it is through understanding this statement. Our ‘choices’ that we seem to make are mostly clouded by by our experiences, by our learned behavior and reaction to arbitrary systems. We are creatures of experience, of past. We create (we CHOOSE) the insanity that the world lives with through unconsciously choosing things while being heavily influenced by past experience. Our minds are the tool for the assignment, and it drives resultant action based on its close control by the ego sense alive in most of us. Mind over matter, or heart over mind ? Our choice is to allow our intelligence to shine from beyond the mind, from before the mind, from a place of universal understanding that is not colored by learned behaviors. From the innocence of the child will the kingdom of heaven be entered, from the condition of an unconditioned mind. From truth not learned, but granted or bestowed as the inherent truth of the human condition. From the truth of our birthright, the truth that burns up the conditioned past and leads to the presence that we can all share. I hope to get there, and hope to meet all others there in the collective universal consciousness. We are all love that shines unconditionally. Once we recognize that the past is irrelevant, as it never actually existed at all but rather was always just the present in disguise, we can get past the Prison to the truth.