Love Makes The World Go Round.

Love

The saying 'love makes the world go round' is accurate in a metaphorical sense. Some people may disagree, saying that greed or money makes the world go round, but in order to be greedy you have to love something (or at least feel passionately about it) and the most common thing greedy people crave is money, even if it is to buy other things.Am I saying that desire also makes the world go round? Well, maybe.  Some people might argue that desire and love are different. Films are made about it, books and songs and poems are written, artists draw paint and sculpt, people spend their entire lives waiting for 'The One'. You can love anything, really a person, place or thing, or maybe even the concept of love itself. But there are also different types of love. You would not love a sibling as you would love a spouse and you would not love your friend as you would love your home or faith. Dictionaries define love as basically a 'passionate feeling of affection' but love is so much more than that. Nearly every human feels love at some point in life, even if it is not their own and just directed at them. Love is not something that can really be described well by anyone, unless they are describing how much love they feel or why to someone who knows what love is. The only concept young children have of love, for example, is the love they feel for their parents. They do not really understand why their parents are together, but they accept that they are because they love each other, and that is all they know.

Part of the reason love is so difficult to define is that it is one of the most complicated feelings in the human range of emotions. I think that love is perhaps a bundle of emotions all felt at the same time and instead of trying to recite this long, and maybe even at times conflicting, list, we call this list love. The list consists of a few staple feelings but depending on the exact thing we are feeling love for, the list can differ greatly. I am not going to talk about everything one might feel as it would take far too long and be very boring to read, so I will talk about the obvious ones and move on.

Obviously, you are 'in love' with something/someone or love something because it brings you happiness (although perhaps not all the time, as I will mention later). If it is love you feel for a person, they have probably made you laugh or have had entertaining conversations with you at some point. They raise your spirits when you are with them.
Maybe even just their being with you makes you happy. My friends and family make me happy. I wouldn't spend large amounts of time with someone,  trust them with my secrets and talk laugh with them, take their advice and give them mine if they didn't make me happy.
If it isn't a person, your religion for example, you might feel happy when you sing a song of praise, when you pray, or maybe just reading your holy book. Religion brings millions of people happiness and security in knowing who they are, what is expected of them in life, how they should live, and what will happen to them when they die. They feel like a part of something on a large scale and it brings people together, the belong, which I am going to talk about next. I personally do not have a religion and so do not have all these additional feelings, and this makes me depend on my family and friends even more than I would if I had one, as I don't look to my god for guidance and help, I look to other people.
Love inspires a feeling of belonging, like belonging in your family or with someone in a relationship or in your favourite chair or in your religious community. When you feel love, you feel complete. The other person in a relationship might 'make you feel whole', your love of your god might fill a hole in your life (or 'heal' you if you perhaps suffered abuse or great sadness at some point), or maybe being with a friend who you trust and have a good time with does the same thing. I know that if I didn't have my friends, I would be much unhappier. Some people don't really value their friends much but if I didn't have friends, who would I gossip with for 15 minutes at break or walk to the shop with for lunch or walk home with? Who would I discuss music and films with? Who would help me decide what to wear and who would comfort me when something bad happened? I can't imagine not having someone there for me or even not being there for someone else.

The Rape of Jessica Soho

Vice Ganda is a star. He has television shows, which he claims have rated on top consistently. He has endorsements, the standard of success for most Philippine celebrities. He asks the public to subscribe to Globe telecom and eat Funtastyk Young Pork Tocino. There are call center agents who file leaves on the days his movies light up the marquee, holding up hand-drawn posters, in the hope that their hero will turn his head and wink on the red carpet.

His celebrity is such that his opinions on a wide variety of issues make newspaper headlines and run as sound bites in the evening news. Senatorial candidates express their gratitude over his endorsements. He says elected candidates should have more legislative experience. His support for family planning was lauded as a brave, progressive move among the purple-clad crowd. He does not refuse interviews, he answers all questions, saying he supports sex change operations and believes sexuality should be irrelevant in the military. He is sharp, witty, irreverent, and straddles both politics and entertainment.

“We need to see people according to their capacities,” he said in an interview in 2011 after the premiere of his film Praybeyt Benjamin. “We will understand people more if we look beyond their appearance.”

Jose Marie Borja Viceral, born March 31, 1976, called Vice Ganda, is aware there are responsibilities that come with rising high.

“I’m enjoying what I am now, and at the same time aware of my responsibility.”

***

Jessica Soho is a journalist. She rose in the ranks at a time when it was difficult to be a woman, especially when that woman is not typical of the rest of the camera-ready long-legged darlings of prime time. She covered war, flood, and political intrigue. She fielded hundreds of reporters and made decisions that changed the face of Philippine media. In the last 30 years she proved herself, again and again, providing women across the country with the possibility that a woman can fight and win.

In the span of two minutes and 31 seconds, a comedian named Vice Ganda decided that all this was not enough, that it was funny, oh so funny, to bring down this public figure to a crass cartoon of all that makes it terrible to be a woman — helpless, hapless, judged for her weight instead of her mind.

And so this man reduced this woman to the unforgettable picture of a fat snorting pig on a shiny platter, all skin and blubber and grease, naked legs akimbo, demanding to be fucked and taken for as long as she had an apple in her mouth.

This is what rape is. It is the use of power over a helpless individual, often a woman, who is violated in the closest and most personal of ways.

In the last few years, the definition has changed. It includes shards of wood shoved up vaginas, as a number of gentlemen did with activist Sherlyn Cadapan when she was abducted by the men of the still-at-large Jovito Palparan. It also includes, although the Supreme Court may disagree, the sexual abuse of a young woman named Nicole in the back of a van behind Neptune Club in Subic, although we are told it is her fault because she was drunk and flirtatious. It includes, for example, the rape by 6 men, mostly teenagers, of a 20-year-old girl on the way home from watching fireworks at one in the morning of January 2012. That was gang rape, and her father wants them all buried behind bars.

In the imagined world created by Vice Ganda, Jessica Soho too was gang raped, only this woman is so desperate that she welcomes the assault.

***

It was a joke, he said. Just a joke. He apologized, he said sorry because “he may have offended Ms Jessica Soho.”

He does not understand why so many made this an issue – it was, after all, just for laughs. He forgets that he held the megaphone and stood on the platform, that it was his choice and his pre-produced, pre-rehearsed script that put Jessica Soho on a weighing scale and seared that image into the national imagination. This angry woman is fat, boys and girls, so fat she will break a scale, so fat her panties are the size of comforters, so fat she can be mistaken for a roast pig. Ding goes the bell, there go the laughs.

This is not just about a rape joke, or about a crass joke, or about Jessica Soho. This is about how this man looks at women, and what he finds funny — so funny that he can barely deliver his lines — and it is a judgment on him as well. He chose to do this, as many men and women have chosen and still choose to do, all the more potent because it was an intelligent, progressive, much adored comedian with followers in the millions who chose to do it, in public, before thousands.

This is correct, he means, this is okay. Laugh, because I am laughing with you.

“Let us stop this,” he said in the monologue he gave as apology over noontime show Showtime. “Let us stop giving opinions especially if you don’t know what happened and if you never watched it, because the world will be more chaotic.”

It is an odd apology, filled with perhapses. Perhaps people were offended. Perhaps they were angry. He promises never to speak of Jessica Soho again, as if the issue were Jessica Soho, and not this brutal attack on the female image. Had it not been Jessica Soho, it would have been the same, only less powerful, less public, less the fall from grace.

You don't get the joke, say his supporters. It’s his right, it’s funny and brilliant and exactly what comedy allows.

This is not about censorship. It is about freedom. Vice Ganda can say what he wants to say, offend whomever he chooses to offend, and if he is excoriated for it, if he is attacked and questioned and called a bully and a bitch, that’s freedom too.

The emperor is naked, and it’s not Jessica Soho. 

<posted and edited by Patricia Evangelista> 

Love and Existence

Sacrifice. Pain. Sorrow. Happiness.  Optimism. Then sacrifice. then pain again.

Sometimes we ask ourselves, Why am I doing this? why I kept on doing this. these.

AM I being punished? But it feels good.

AM I in a state of Insanity? But it feels normal.

IS it worth it? I don't know. But I love it....

I love it...

I love it...

LOVE.

It all goes down to LOVE. The sweetest poison ever created by man's willingness to be involved and to be attached with certainty and security.

Unconditional Love I believe it just IS. It is something that is innate. It is in our true nature and is something that is realized with consciousness rather than developed. Love itself is unconditional, therefore isn't really love in its true sense otherwise.

Acts of selflessness and kindness are a result of unconditional love, but I suppose a good question to ask would be "to what extent do we take action, in the name of unconditional love, without losing ourselves?" Situations may vary of course, but at what point is it more an act of unconditional love to let go and allow someone else to experience what they need to in order for realization to occur, rather than willingly, out of that same unconditional love, sacrifice out of pure selflessness (without co-dependency or expectation), and vice versa?

 ... But what is LOVE without presence?

Presence. Existence.

EXISTENCE.

What is the meaning of life?  Why are we here?  We have all pondered these questions at least once in our lives. Even on this blog.  Will we acquire all of the answers we are searching for after we die?  Probably not.  In our physical form, on this physical plane, we may constantly be searching for answers, which is in our nature, but maybe when we die, our spirit or soul has a completely different agenda and purpose and we won't need them.  Perhaps we go through stages and each one is necessary to move on to the next one.  During this physical stage, our purpose could be to simply share the experience of being human and everything that it encompasses.  Being human, we are able to fully experience the dichotomy or duality of life.  We cannot appreciate or even begin to understand joy and happiness without experiencing pain and suffering.

 To exist is to love is to exist is to love is to exist... these two correlate with each other. and nothing could break the chain called eternity. :)

Why Are We Born If We Have To Die?

Why are we born if we have to die? This is one of the questions raised on one of the most interesting blog sites I've encountered. According to the author, He was asked by his nephew the same question. But the child was not satisfied with his answer. And so i gave mine.

My thoughts for this question are really simple.

To be Born and to Die are just human experiences.

Birth begins our human life experience and death ends it.

“In order to die we have to first be alive, and in order to be alive we need to first be born”

Nature teaches us this in the life cycle of every plant and animal, but as humans we think that we are smarter so this rule should not apply to us.

Most children today seem dissatisfied with simple answers,perhaps because we adults have complicated life experiences for them so much.

The beauty of the human mind is that it has an infinite power to ask all sorts of questions that pertain to even the realms beyond human imagination, but the tragedy is that its comprehensive ability is conditioned and relatively finite and so when the answers to our questions lie beyond our human experiences and imagination we are unable to grasp them.

With advances in thinking of course, we are moving into newer and deeper levels of understanding, but the great unknown always remains one step away from us.

Maybe when we die we might encounter this great unknown and perhaps be able to find the answers to the complicated questions we had while we were alive. This possibility too, as humans we cannot know just yet!!
Until then, its better to keep things simple and give honest and straightforward answers that sometimes are a single line like ” I don’t know”, For most children this is the most satisfying, because it places us at their level and they feel that they can then question and learn with us – and we are not going to give them some pre conceived understanding of what we have, which again complicates their questions further.

From most of the posts a pattern seems to emerge, that as adults it is so easy to take a simple question and get into very complicated insights, but it is hard for us to admit and give a child (or a blog site) the simple reply that “we really don’t know.”

We are being wrapped to idealism and religious belief that we tend to complicate our answers as we don't want to commit mistakes, and we don't want to think beyond the standards that we lived by as we are afraid that our answers - may it be ideas, facts, theories,or even general information could ruin it all. Our fear that our answers may look stupid or be rejected by the society makes us even more stupid. 

to live is to die? such a cliche... a pessimist answer... Most of the times, to live is to make mistakes, to mess around, to fall in love, to be hurt, and to hurt, to try extra ordinary, to love friends, to be bitch, sacrifice, to enjoy... and after that, THE HELL WE CARE!

Choices and Decisions

MAKING CHOICES AND DECISIONS

Life is like a road. There are long and short roads; smooth and rocky roads; crooked and straight paths. In our life many roads would come our way as we journey through life. There are roads that lead to a life of single blessedness, marriage, and religious vocation. There are also roads that lead to fame and fortune on one hand, or isolation and poverty on the other. There are roads to happiness as there are roads to sadness, roads towards victory and jubilation, and roads leading to defeat and disappointment.

Just like any road, there are corners, detours, and crossroads in life. Perhaps the most perplexing road that you would encounter is a crossroad. With four roads to choose from and with limited knowledge on where they would go, which road will you take? What is the guarantee that we would choose the right one along the way? Would you take any road, or just stay where you are: in front of a crossroad?

THERE ARE NO GUARANTEES

You do not really know where a road will lead you until you take it. There are no guarantees. This is one of the most important things you need to realize about life. Nobody said that choosing to do the right thing all the time would always lead you to happiness. Loving someone with all your heart does not guarantee that it would be returned. Gaining fame and fortune does not guarantee happiness.

Accepting a good word from an influential superior to cut your trip short up the career ladder is not always bad, especially if you are highly qualified and competent.  There are too many possible outcomes, which you really cannot control. The only thing you have power over is the decisions that you make, and how you would act and react to different situations.

WRONG DECISIONS ARE ALWAYS AT HINDSIGHT

Had you known that you were making a wrong decision, would you have gone along with it? Perhaps not, why would you choose a certain path when you know it would get you lost? Why make a certain decision if you knew from the very beginning that it is not the right one. It is only after you have made a decision and reflected on it that you realize its soundness. If the consequences or outcomes are good for you, then you know that you have made the right decision. Otherwise, your decision was wrong.

TAKE THE RISK: DECIDE

Since life offers no guarantee and you would never know that your decision would be wrong until you have made it, then you might as well take the risk and decide. It is definitely better than keeping yourself in limbo. Although it is true that one wrong turn could get you lost, it could also be that such a turn could be an opportunity for an adventure, moreover open more roads.

It is all a matter of perspective. You have the choice between being a lost traveler or an accidental tourist of life.  But take caution that you do not make decisions haphazardly. Taking risks is not about being careless and stupid.

GET AS MANY INFORMATION AS YOU CAN IN YOUR SITUATION.

You cannot find the confidence to decide when you know so little about what you are faced with. Just like any news reporter, ask the 5 W’s: what, who, when, where, and why. What is the situation? Who are the people involved? When did this happen? Where is this leading? Why are you in this situation? These are just some of the possible questions to ask in order to know more about your situation. This is important. Oftentimes, the reason for indecision is the lack of information about a situation.

IDENTIFY AND CREATE OPTIONS.

What options do the situation give you? Sometimes the options are few, but sometimes they are numerous. But what do you do when you think that the situation offers no options? This is the time that you create your own. Make your creative mind work. From the most simplistic to the most complicated, entertain all ideas. Do not shoot anything down when an idea comes to your head. Sometimes the most outrageous idea could prove to be the right one in the end. You can ask a friend to help you identify options and even make more options if you encounter some difficulty, but make sure that you make the decision yourself in the end.

WEIGH THE PROS AND CONS OF EVERY OPTION

Assess each option by looking at the advantages and disadvantages it offers you. In this way, you get more insights about the consequences of such an option.

TRUST YOUR SELF AND MAKE THE DECISION.

Now that you have assessed your options, it is now time to trust yourself. Remember that there are no guarantees and wrong decisions are always at hindsight.  So choose… decide… believe that you are choosing the best option at this point in time.

Now that you have made a decision, be ready to face its consequences: good and bad. It may take you to a place of promise or to a land of problems. But the important thing is that you have chosen to live your life instead of remaining a bystander or a passive audience to your own life.

Whether it is the right decision or not, only time can tell. But do not regret it whatever the outcome. Instead, learn from it and remember that you always have the chance to make better decisions in the future.

To Forgive and to Forget.

Somebody told me once that we have to forgive but not to forget, but to remember that one time in our lives we were able to put everything behind us that made us move on to become a better person...

We are human, prone to frailty and impulsiveness bring us to our create our own sorrows. at times, when nothing else matters but the desires of our hearts; we get ourselves into situations we do not think of. we just dive into it, because it looks promising, inviting and tempting.

At first, it feels good. it makes us high, euphoric and it seems like it's never going to end. we are blinded, we do not look anywhere, we're focus on one. we're like horses with patches in their eyes,they cannot look on different directions, just straight ahead; when the reigns are pulled, that is the time when it means they have to move to the left or right maybe.

When we're hurt and deeply wounded emotionally, we tend to get back at the person in any way we can. we avenge and take every step to win. however, come to think of it, we still end up losing. merely, because we are filled with hatred and ill feelings towards others who have caused us pain. And I do not think carrying heavy loads in our lives is an option if we want to live in contentment.

The Very Essence of Letting Go

In your hands is a very precious creation so fragile, so valuable that if you keep on holding it, it either stay or fall apart. But you loved this creature so much that letting it go would be comparable to letting go of your life as well, so much that sometimes you wished it would always be there, so much that you tend to be selfish so as you could make it stay for as long as you want. 

There comes a time in our lives we chance upon  someone "so nice" and "almost perfect" and we just find ourselves getting so intensely attached to that person (sometimes even without realizing it!). This feeling soon becomes a part of our daily lives and eventually guzzles our thoughts and actions to the extent that we dagged it as one of those "too good to be true" things. Then in our desperate attempt to get closer, our efforts are still futile and we still feel sorry for ourselves. 

but still... we wanted it all... we are hoping for a hopeless silver lining... too much. 

One person once said, "Never let your heart run your life. As much as you can always be sensible  and let your mind speak for itself.Try to listen not merely on what your feelings are evoking but more importantly listen to reason as well. " Letting go of someone doesn't necessarily mean you have to stop loving, it only means that you allow the person to find his own happiness without expecting him to come back. 

Letting go is not just letting the other person free "in the real sense of it," but it is also setting yourself free from all animosities, hostility and resentments that was long kept in your heart. You have to let go because the bitterness often diminishes the strength and weakens the little hope left, making our lives more miserable than ever. 

If I lose you today, it means that someone better is coming tomorrow. If I lose love that doesn't mean I failed in love, probably it was another mismatch in heaven... 

The Abstract of a Normal Life.

Living a fulfilling life can mean many things to many people. So how do you know if you are? I think there are times when our struggles overwhelm us, and I think there are times when our joys go unnoticed, mostly by ourselves. Without knowing it, we can sometimes focus on our problems more than those things that make us truly happy. If we can just solve this, or solve that, we think we'll finally be at a place where we will be satisfied. 

Guess what? Living isn't always about solving the problems. It could be life was designed to be this huge puzzle and we will always be working on making all the pieces fit together. The thing is, the puzzle changes through time as we move into new phases of our lives. If you get stuck holding a piece of the puzzle from your past, it won't fit. The puzzle is different. 

So what do we do? How do you know things have changed? If you stop more often, even for a moment, and quit looking at the puzzle piece in your hand and look up at everything else around you, you will see and you feel what is different. You will know it's time to let go of the puzzle piece in your hand and pick up a new piece and begin anew with a better chance of success. 

But how? We've been looking so long to fit that one piece in, to make it belong, we know it inside and out. If you let yourself truly see and feel what's around you, you will know, what you are holding onto has no place and it is futile to try to jam it in where it will no longer fit. 

As a society, we call it 'letting go, and moving on'. We understand that for other people, but why is it so hard when it is us? Relationships, jobs, projects and sometimes personal beliefs have to be pieces that fit in the puzzle of today. If not, we're wasting our time. 

We know life is short, especially if we have experienced the loss of a loved one. Instead of trying to make our puzzle perfect and feeling unsatisfied that the pieces seem to never fit, maybe it's time to take a step back and be grateful for all the pieces we have managed to fit together. Smile at our accomplishments, and enjoy time as a way to see and feel alive, instead of feeling we are never caught up, never where we think we should be, and live in constant fear of failure, or of not doing something extraordinary before our time is up. 

What we forget to see and more importantly forget to feel is how fortunate we are for having a puzzle to work on at all. Whatever my puzzle looks like, it's my puzzle. And today, that's good enough for me. 

The letter that started it all...

Love… 

It has made every intelligent person a whole lot stupid than usual, and its hilarious really. Holding on, taking hold, looking into the bright side, hoping for a silver lining - it’s all too much. But still, we consciously drown ourselves in it. Why? Its something extreme, radical, volatile, unpredictable. Not knowing what’s on the bend gives us the chills and the thrills. It gives us a natural high, something not even a powerful, controlled drug can stir. Though sometimes, at the height of the flight, something, or someone, shoots us down. Nothing, not even an Olympic-sized trampoline, can break the impact of the fall. And so you get crushed and squished like a pancake. Yet as stupid as you are, you climb another cliff and give it another shot. 

Stupid, masochistic… 

So what do you do? Do you cower inside your shell, where it’s safe? Do you draw back to the usual, controlled environment you’ve been accustomed to? You surround yourself with the things you are familiar with, indulge in the things that comfort you, splurge in the constant and unchanging nature you created. Sure, you can do that - trite, and dull as hell though. 

Sweet lemon, substitution, cowardice… 

Life is about taking risks - or so I believed. And I don’t wanna spend this short span of existence in a fixed situation just because I don’t wanna get hurt. 

I want it all… 

I want it all… 

In the face of uncertainty, i grin. I know a great adventure is up ahead. And although I might get burned in this fire dance, I know I’ll be just fine. Let me cry a while, then you will see me soon, even more luminous than when you last saw me. 

Am I stupid? Maybe, maybe not. 

I just wanna live. Let me live. Let me love you. 

You fear for me? Don’t. You are worth the risk. Let me do this. I’m happy. I know what I want. And it’s you. I love you. I love loving you. 

And yes, I do realize that you need to learn how to fly. Every angel has his time of trying and learning to soar. And here, I await your return, when your wings are singed, when you get flustered from the painstaking but rewarding flight. 

I need to love. I need to live. But I don’t need you so I can live. I can live without you. ITS JUST THAT I CHOSE NOT TO. 

I will just be right here, waiting. 

Be with me.. I need you now... Right Here and Now. 

A Flicker of Light in the Dark

The Philippines is known as the Pearl of the Orient Seas, boasting both natural and human resources. We are known to be very amorous people who hold family in high regard. The spirit of a Filipino never falters in the face of hardship, turmoil and difficulty. Our mountains and caves never failed to amaze the world, earning us a spot in harboring some of the best attractions everyone has ever seen, both in the ancient and current era. Our land has lots of things to be proud of. 

Yet dark shadows in our community and in the way we do things are more noticeable than the above facts that should have catapulted us to the stage for others to genuinely admire. Even worse, we ourselves forget what we are worth due to these impurities.

When it comes to political governance, it would seem that others, and even ourselves, perceive the Philippine government to be corrupt, malicious and reeking of spiteful secrets. Countless revelations of under-the-table transactions gearing to personal gain have been rampant in all media, from TV, to radio, to internet sites. Most cannot help but wonder if there are still odious facts swept under the rug aside from the information we presume to be merely the tip of the iceberg. Distrust is the best adjective to what almost everyone has for what should have been a government of the people, by the people and for the people. This is not surprising at all.

Though it would seem that all hope is not yet lost. A bill reinforcing freedom of information is on its way for approval. This would potentially increase the public’s access to relevant knowledge that would have great effect on how our current situation would progress in all aspects as a nation. Each of us will get first hand awareness of the truth on each public issue, non-discriminating of education, gender and social stature. It would assure that everyone will be in the loop when it comes to matters concerning public interest, fostering transparency in every undertaking, every project, every action. Gone are the days that those public servants would simply say, “This is where your taxes go.” People are craving for full disclosure of all the transactions involving public interest as reputation and trust are not earned by words alone; it is awarded to those who act conscientiously even in the absence of the gaze of the society.

Indeed, this bill is timely. As a matter of fact, it has been of utmost need even before its time of drafting. We need to solidify our leaders’ obligations and responsibility to their people by creating open measures and policies under the spirit of integrity. Transparency would alleviate public unrest and give us all the inherent right to know what is and what is not. The current situation of our government and community greatly demands that matters concerning public interest should be properly and dutifully communicated. This would take time to be in effect and would require rigorous evaluation to smoothen whatever rough edges it might have, yet its potential is geared towards a better relationship between the government and the society as a whole.

It is never too late to try to make a 180-degree turn to make things right, or even better. Freedom of information would indeed assure us that nothing is hidden and all is factual. A light of veracity can illuminate the darkness from where we have been for the longest time due to deceit and selfish exploits. Trust can once more be gained, cooperation will surely follow. Then we would have more time to ponder on things we are good at, not on things to complain on. And surely, revival of our national pride will just be around the corner.

What Is Life?

One of the questions we really don't have the answers. What Is Life? There is no definite word to describe life. May it be scientific, religious, personal, or psychological, it always lead to debate, contradictions and even theories. If you will ask me what is Life, well I will answer that on what I observe from other people.

Life is beautiful and yet life is not a bed of roses. Though it is full of ups and downs it has many facets of blessings and successes.

To some people, life is hard, cruel and merciless. These set of people see life as punishment throughout their entire lives. They therefore resigned themselves to fate, believing all is finished. To them, nothing that they do can ever be good. They take delight in committing crimes and maiming others to avenge their ill-fortune. They lost every sense of direction and most times, some of them go as far as committing suicide, just to escape the injustice life has meted out to them.

But there are those who see life as a challenge, a channel of discovery and innovation, a prospect for success and a gateway to wealth. To them life is sweet, colorful and kind. No matter the situation these people find themselves, they keep pressing on, believing in a cause, a cause to succeed and get the most out of life. No wonder an adage says, “Where there is life, there is hope.”

The will to succeed or fail lies within an individual jurisdiction. You can live life to the fullest with utmost satisfaction and fulfillment if you determine with all your mind, body and soul to succeed. On the other hand, life can be miserable to you if you take everything for granted and wait on fate to play itself out.

Setting of goals and strategic plans that will strive no matter the odds which may move against you is one of the basic things needed to get the best out of life. These goals which must be result oriented, should be followed up consistently even if things seem blurred or unyielding at first.

Also, the mind is the center of everything. It controls your thoughts and beliefs. A focused mind has never fail. A positive mind helps one to discover his talents and potentials. Great men and women, both living and dead, had their minds focused on something and nothing deterred them from achieving their dreams. Each of them had a belief, should I say faith, which they held onto, they nurture the belief, focused all their attention and live on it. And today, we have benefited in one way or the other from their inventions and great ideas.

Life is a challenge. And for anyone to succeed in life, he must be ready to show the stuff he is made of. He must be ready to sacrifice his time and build up his mind frame toward success. What is happening in our environment should not influence or affect us in our daily quest for success in life. Instead, we should control the happenings around us.

Life is so easy, yet many people rush and miss what they want to achieve in life. Don’t rush in life. Take one step at a time. Each step should be properly planned before being launched. Steady, balance, mark and shoot. And before you know it, the sky will become the beginning of your success.

All the great men of today, has one way or the other tasted the other side of life but they did not cower. Instead, they were renewed to redefine their goals; they ride on with faith, believing in their potentials, focusing their mind on something, knowing fully well that in every black cloud there is always a silver lining.

I take life to be very simple and do you know what? Life is to be enjoyed. What about you? =)

Emotional Independence

At the beginning of our life and again when we get old, we need the help and affection of others. Unfortunately, between these two periods of our life, when we are strong and able to look after ourselves, we don’t appreciate the value of affection and compassion. As our own life begins and ends with the need for affection, wouldn’t it be better if we gave compassion and love to others while we are strong and capable?” - Dalai Lama 

I just recieved this text message from my good friend (Thanks to RJ) 

Feeling a bit sleepy but as per my boss. I should write. ( Fresh from the US trip) 

I couldn't find any interesting topic rather than this. 

Really, it is very curious to see that we are proud of our emotional independence. Evidently, it is not quite like that: we continue needing others our entire life, but it is a “shame” to show that, so we prefer to cry in hiding. And when someone asks us for help, that person is considered weak and incapable of controlling his feelings. 

There is an unwritten rule saying that “the world is for the strong”, that “only the fittest survive.” If it were like that, human beings would never have existed, because they are part of a species that needs to be protected for a long period of time (specialists say that we are only capable of surviving on our own after nine years of age, whereas a giraffe takes only six to eight months, and a bee is already independent in less than five minutes). 

We are in this world, I, for my part, continue – and will always continue – depending on others. I depend on my love, my friends and my work. I depend even on my enemies, who help me to be always trained in the use of the sword. 

Clearly, there are moments when this fire blows in another direction, but I always ask myself: where are the others? Have I isolated myself too much? Like any healthy person, I also need solitude and moments of reflection. 

But I cannot get addicted to that. 

Emotional independence leads to absolutely nowhere – except to a would-be fortress, whose only and useless objective is to impress others. 

Emotional dependence, in its turn, is like a bonfire that we light. 

In the beginning, relationships are difficult. In the same way that fire is necessary to put up with the disagreeable smoke – which makes breathing hard, and causes tears to pour down one’s face. However, once the fire is alight, the smoke disappears and the flames light up everything around us – spreading warmth, calm, and possibly making an ember pop out to burn us, but that is what makes a relationship interesting, isn’t that true? 


It takes FAR more courage to be vulnerable and open to those we love and who love us… and it’s not wisdom but fear which persuades us to be emotionally independent… 

this makes sense because if we feel we don’t have enough security within who we are, we balk at other’s needs… but if we are connected to Source at a deeply engaged level we are wide open to any and all needs – our own and from others – because we KNOW we are capable and strong.. no, because we KNOW we are Love, incarnate. 

And love is the antithesis of fear. 

I’ve found a deep truth in this and am so relieved I found it: its come at the most perfect time in my world… am SO SO SO excited.. so many view dependence as a weakness, so this may challenge them deeply, but I’ve just realized that being the conduit for other’s needs is such an immense service!!!!! 

What a tremendously exciting challenge: to retain your congruence and sense of self in the face of any demands placed on you by others… this is the precisely doorway/process that most tend to flee…. 

but it’s not about giving of Self, it’s about giving THROUGH self…. it’s about being able to plug so deeply into Universal Flow that you are not capable of being depleted!!!! 

this way, we become Service, incarnate… which is Divine Love, 

is it not???? 

Healing Cycles

Healing wounds… Why do we get so hurt in the first place? When we love someone, have deep compassion towards someone or something our whole being can get knocked off of it’s perch. We fall into a shattered heap and have to slowly work towards putting the pieces together again. I’m sure Humpty Dumpty wasn’t a very good nursery rhythm for children, teaching children that he couldn’t be fixed…hah! =))) 


Over the years we go through many disappointments, suffer loses, our egos get knocked around and we get back up and continue on. WE are AMAZING creatures, but sometimes so stupid in continuing on the same path, we loose touch of our sixth sense and sometimes take so long to learn that what is, IS. We can choose to learn from the universal forces, accepting that it is what it is. 

Everyday has something to offer, we choose our existence. Whether is is with the people we cross paths with for a moment or a lifetime. Things come and go and not becoming so attached to things is one of my lessons in life. Accepting life’s lessons is probably one of the most challenging things we are here to do. 

For me in healing wounds, I feel all the emotions… then work on the process that this is life, where millions of atoms, energy and forces all are working together in this world, giving me this experience to learn from, deal with or to accept:) 

Expecting the Unexpected

One of life's constants: Always expect the unexpected.

But for some reason, we can never know WHEN this will happen. Whether it is misfortune, opportunity, or just being at the right place at the right time, fact of the matter is, we will never know when these things will happen but instead of telling us that it will, it's telling us to prepare for them. 

But still, how do you prepare for love? How does one prepare for this particular feeling or event in one's life when everything is built and destroyed at the same time? How does one even contemplate or plan for things in advance when love is involved? The answer: NEVER.

Truth is no one can really tell when true love will come or go. Sure you may be starting out as a new couple, the first couple of months go well and dandy. But then as time progresses, you or your lover or both of you may lose interest in each other, leaving the love to slowly wither away until it dies, like a rose in full bloom and its petals slowly turning into grey, falling off one by one till there's nothing left. This is the sad truth. Even couples with relationships going past a decade end up in separation. No one can really tell when something so good will come to a sudden end. And yes, it's always so sad to see couples breaking up and the worst part would be to see how two happy people end up being the most hurt. They say that everything happens for a reason, that we lose something in hopes of gaining something better. Most people would find this unbelievable or heck, skeptical at this statement. But the people that do believe in this statement are those that actually think that there really is another chance given to us at another point in time. The most important part is to be patient for that one chance. 

It may not come now, it may not come tomorrow, but if it does, you'll be thankful that you have waited for something as beautiful as that thing they call love...

Love is a two-dimensional word

Love? 
A word with myriad implications. 

Quoting Woody Allen, ”If you are feeling tingly all over, you are either in love or having smallpox!!” 

Love is a blend of emotions, attraction,care,concern,passion,loyalty and according to me,perhaps more important an mirror image of friendship. 
Love is everything, all rolled into one. A mother’s passion, a friend’s care, a sister’s guidance, a teacher’s angst, a colleague’s robustness, a room mate’s concern and if not last, a lovers spat. 

Love is a dance which weaves a very intricate pattern, lulls everyone into false complacency, and has everyone swaying with it. It can be personified as the pied piper, leading one and all into the nadir of life, ravine of distress or the zenith of bliss but has that whiff of innocence. Its a swirling crescendo raging around which leaves behind aching souls or souls floating on the clouds. Its like the finest mead or wine, maturing with age and as strong as diamond, meant to withstand the tests of the time. 

Love discriminates none, and has little mercy. It leaves behind many victims but more beneficiaries. It doesn’t distinguish on the basis of color, caste or creed. And they say, people bitten by this bug gain ethereal happiness and bliss or i hear that. 

So, This is what i’ve heard about the bug. What i think is a very different matter. Its something like a complex number. The love we all have heard about is just the imaginary part, the real part is the part which actually also exists. The part where there is no fairy tale endings. I feel, love requires a certain level of maturity to be understood, the carving in its art being way to minute and intricate for us to even fathom about it. 

Love at first sight? 

"I believe in love at first site, 
coz i fell in love with my mother 
the moment i saw her.." 

That's believable, but the one we hear about every so often?No.I think they are just poor misguided souls,lulling themselves into thinking something which doesn't exist,into some sense of security.Feelings and attraction matter a lot but that package can be termed love only when compatibility is there.After all,its the long term we are talking about.And this is where "love is friendship" comes in,where the concern and care,sharing secrets and emotions,actually talking, comes before,way before,the intimacy of a relationship. 

And ya,am one those people who roll eyes when others gush about how deeply in love they are.Because frankly speaking,it begs a questions,at this age,how are you so sure that this is person you are gonna be sitting with,sipping tea,when you are old??As per the jargon, you've hardly played the field yet!! 

You can fall in love with a person's personality, but then do you know if your tastes and routines match?That's the question which should actually set the route,not those rugged features and to die for smile!!Those are the questions you should think about and then learn to compromise.For what is a relationship without compromise?just a civil wrestling competition.. 

Am one of those people who,whenever its said that "love is in the air",rush away from the spot,just so that we are not infected.So,if roaming around with your beloved hand in hand,looking at him with "lovelorn" eyes,batting your eyelashes every now and then,singing his praises high and loud(!?!),hanging onto his every word as if they are some sacred utterances,spending your every free moment either talking to him or thinking about him,drooling over the notebooks writing his name,going all gooey when his name's taken and then let him pick up the tabs for all the fun( list could go on..)is being in love,then sadly, am not cut out for it.. 

As they say,"All that glitters is not gold"..Yes,a relationship may glitter,look dazzling and cool but it comes with its own bundle of obstacles.And when we already have to spend the better half of our life in companionship,then whats the point of ruining our experience of single status from now itself? 

Yes, i believe in love, but the one where it means accepting a person completely,warts and all.The one mothers have for their children,the one that binds two best friends,sisters,siblings..not one of a kind but still special and mind blowing.Take it slow,take it steady,but then,take it for real.. but the fairytale love is still a mystery for me,waiting to be unraveled,sitting patiently,gathering dust but coming out dazzling even more than a diamond!! 
let the dust gather while i go off in the pursuit of that elusive something,let it pile up till am ready to accept and appreciate its worth.. 


meanwhile, goodnight. lol