How To Get Over A Broken Heart First and foremost, realize that it’s over. Realize that, no matter how charming you might be towards authority figures and when meeting new people for the first time, you’re not going to talk your way out of this one. As you tend to do, you had briefly convinced yourself that you could push, and push, and the time would never come when the other would say “enough” and really mean it. But they do mean it, and no amount of sweet-talking or makeup sex or conversations that last until three in the morning and involve crying, laughing, and just a bit of shameless begging are going to help it. They are right — you two aren’t right for each other, and staying together isn’t going to help anyone. But it’s over, and it wasn’t your choice. And maybe that’s the worst part, that you didn’t choose this (which is rather sickening to acknowledge). No matter how much was going wrong, how deeply you two were capable of hurting each other, at the end of the day, the decision to separate was forced upon you. You briefly don’t even want to get back together, only that you could re-do the night of the breakup with the knowledge that no matter what you were going to do, they weren’t going to give in. You would have been cool, and dignified, and would have ended things with a bit of dignity and maturity, instead of throwing a tantrum like a child in the face of inevitability. In any case, it’s over now, and save for a bit of humiliation about the circumstances of the ending, there is nothing left to do but mourn. Suddenly, every time you get within a few feet of your phone, the urge to call them and hang up or send a cryptic text message becomes overwhelming. You keep waiting, hoping against hope, that whenever the little tinny buzz of a message goes off, it will be them. Of course, it’s never them, because they are capable of being mature and actually handling this separation with the space that is required. But you hope that they’re struggling not to talk to you, too. You watch them sign on and off of Gchat and for each stretch that they’re online, you hold your breath. You let your mouse hover over their name. You start a million messages before erasing them like a coward. You will them to talk to you, but they don’t. Every song you listen to either makes your chest swell with nostalgia, or makes you burst into tears. You’ve had to pull over while driving several times because you could no longer see, and even in your state, you realize that driving while sobbing uncontrollably is a safety hazard. You resign to not listen to music, or only listen to happy music — but it comes at you from all directions. Even standing in a bar with friends who’ve taken you out, insistant that you “get over this” and “get back out there,” you’re not safe from the kind of beautiful, painful song that cuts through the ambiance like a laser and destroys your night. One moment, you are almost having a good time, making small talk and swaying to the music, well-lubricated by alcohol but not drunk enough to start making ugly calls, the next, you are dashing into the bathroom as tears well up hot in the corner of your eyes, hoping no one saw your minor breakdown over the song you two used to sing to each other. Time passes, and passes, and the pain of not being with them becomes more of a dull ache, something that is uncomfortable but can be lived with, like a still-serious prognosis that is mercifully no longer terminal. You begin to feel capable again, like all of your successes and joys aren’t palpably dulled because they can’t be shared with the person you love. Even the sweet, if distant, concept of loving another person becomes a possibility — something you couldn’t do right now, but one day might be able to, and the idea is pleasant and comforting. Everything is turning up, and though things are difficult, the pain is no longer completely obscuring the beauties of your life. That is, of course, until you see it. There are many ways to find out, and none are pleasant, but you see it. It is in seemingly innocuous exchanges on social media, your friends know about it but don’t discuss, it suddenly renders their silence completely understandable — they’ve found someone else. And now, above all else, you are filled with a blind rage. How dare they, you think. How could they. How are you so irredeemably in love that you can barely go out to a restaurant for fear of seeing their favorite food, and they are off, having the time of their life, kissing and laughing f-cking all over the city like some kind of god damn movie cliché. Do people have no dignity? What does this new person have that I don’t? What could they possibly be providing? Your entire worth is called into question, and you want to know everything about this new person, yet every new bit of information is brutal to discover. They are good-looking, well-rounded, intelligent — everything that you cannot yet admit to yourself that your old love most likely needs. And though they seem objectively wonderful, your fragile, bloated ego must convince itself that you are special, that you two had that something that this new person will never be able to recreate. It’ll be over in a week, you tell yourself. And you allow yourself the occasional moment of spite, of venom, on the times when you talk to your old love. You make them feel guilty, feel stupid. You make snide comments about their new relationship, and inappropriate ones about your old one together. You have shed every ounce of self-awareness and long only to hurt, to hurt them the way you are hurting, no matter how fleeting the satisfaction is. You’ve become a child. But it becomes clear, as time passes, that they are not going to break up in a week. No matter how much you loved them, this new person may have the one thing you two never did: compatibility. Love cannot replace irreconcilable differences, and no amount of passion can sustain endless fighting and mistrust. You acknowledge that you two might have burned very hot, but that it may have been too hot. Though the wound clearly still exists, seeing them together no longer pours salt in it. You can even go out with them and maintain composure — the concept of “being friends” that at one point seemed so insulting and pitiful, now seems like a real possibility, if only you are granted enough space and time to fully heal. Life gets in the way, though. You both move, or change jobs, or change friends. That new relationship of theirs might have ended, and you might have started a new one yourself. You buy furniture, you paint walls, you try new recipes and go to happy hour — you live. And you live in a way that takes no account of how they might think of you, or what they’re doing at this very moment, or even who they’ve become. You think of them rarely, and only in a vague wish that they’re doing well. Reflecting on the relationship is no longer a part of your day, it’s no longer something you draw energy and purpose from. You can appreciate happy memories like all the others in your life — something that was wonderful, but that is gone. And before you know it, it’s been years. Years. One day you two might see each other, crossing paths in your old city or on a train platform or in a grocery store. You might not, though. You might go your whole lives and never cross paths again, but that is okay. You have your whole life to live anyway, and a heart to get broken again.

The Global Scale of Human Stupidity

Ever heard of the name Dr. Matt Taylor? Probably not. If you google the name you will most likely find a football player, musician or weather presenter.

You would most likely not hear about this Matt Taylor because he is a scientist and our society does not value scientists as much as people who kick around leather balls or have a nice voice.

You have however, most likely heard about the monster in ESA who objectifies women and wears that abomination of a shirt.

Matt Taylor has been framed into a vicious "feminist" political campaign just because he chose to dress differently. The comic characters on his shirt have somehow driven the feminism fanatics into a holly war against attire.

On one hand Matt is a highly prized project scientist who is not only doing his job but he is also fully dedicated and passionate about it. And through his work the boundaries of human knowledge get expanded.

On the other hand he is one of us. A guy who ennjoys humour and more specifically- internet humour. A guy who answers questions about his work to all those strangers who ask him through the internet. A guy who knows how to be fun and is not afraid to be wacky at times. For all we know he might even be 9gager.

So why did he wear that shirt? It wa a birthday present from his FEMALE friend.

As per Matt, "Changing my apperance every few months and currently combing my hair from left to right seems to add a positive aspect to daily activities."

These are not words of excuse, these are words from his profile page posted long before all these.

And when after all these years of work. A mission which had predicted 75-80% success of chances, succeeded. When the stress ended. When he finally wanted to express his joy and share his professional insights, he got this instead:

"I don't care if you landed a spacecraft on a comet, your shirt is sexist and ostracizing."

Bitch, please. You have one chance to inquire about one of the most exciting scientific missions of your lifetime and you focus on cartoon characters on a shirt? WTF IS WRONG WITH YOUR BRAIN?!

"The fact that a scientist of any gender, but especially a man, would think it's a good idea to wear a shirt covered in naked women while representing a major space agency and a significant research project is apalling; and clearly, he had no idea that he was engaging in exactly the kind of casual sexism that drives women away from STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Mathematics)"

Your logic just gave me cancer and aged me by 30 years. If a woman or man. After all her/his years of studying and inspirations is driven away by a shirt. A fucking T-shirt. Then you should never ever dream about STEM job in the first place. you are not good enough.

I would have dismissed all of this. Just shrug it off like all other mankind stupidities... But then I watched Matt's apology.

A sincere and nervous apology uttered with a broken voice whilst his hands were shaking and he was breaking in. One of the good guys are apologizing yet I don't know for what. He apologized to a band of troglodytes. But it was so sincere that he made me wonder what was going through that man's mind. Was he sad that he managed to insult many people? Was he sad that people focused on his shirt rather than on his work? Was he sad that the world is full of stupid people?

Whatever he was sad about I felt OFFENDED. I felt offended because a genuinely nice guy who has made of tons for society was being harassed on a global scale. This is WRONG. This is going back to MEDIEVAL times when group of fanatics attacked scientists because they had the "MORAL" right to do so. FANATICS are attacking our scientists again and it is our DUTY to show support.

My message to Matt:

PLEASE KEEP ON BEING AWESOME!

"I work on the Rosetta mission at ESA. Which is Nice."
 - Dr. Matt  Taylor

My 2014 Oscars Nominees

The 86th Academy Awards is scheduled to be held on March 2, 2014. The little gold trophy in which every filmmakers, directors, producers, actors, and even aspiring people dream of displaying in their home will be given to those who deserves it based on their matter-of-life-and-death performances. And as 2013 ends, I certainly believe that history will again, literally repeats itself. "Gravity" vs. "12 Years a Slave"? That certainly seemed like the narrative we were heading into, which would have shared  commonalities with the "Avatar" vs. "The Hurt Locker," "Hugo" vs. "The Artist" and "Life of Pi" vs. "Argo" showdowns that met the last three years (an expensive, 3D critical and commercial hit versus a smaller film tackling history in one way or another)... Though, in the end, were any of them really showdowns? History won all three times (though then again, none of the maids of honor had going for it what "Gravity" has going for it right now).

But then came "American Hustle," which has received a ton of love from the precursors and has made this a bonafide three-way race. Unless something truly shocking happens, one of these three films is winning best picture.

Well, The Academy for Motion Picture Arts and Sciences (AMPAS) will release their sets of nominees from different categories on January 16, 2014. Here is my own personal list of nominees:

Best Picture:

- American Hustle
- Captain Phillips
- Dallas Buyers Club
- Gravity
- Her
- Inside Llewyn Davis
- Rush
- Saving Mr. Banks
- 12 Years a Slave
- The Wolf Of Wall Street

Best Director:

- The Coen Brothers- Inside Llewyn Davis
- Alfonso Cuaron- Gravity
- Paul Greengrass- Captain Phillips
- Steve McQueen- 12 Years a Slave
- David O. Russell- American Hustle

Best Actor:

- Bruce Dern - Nebraska as Woody Grant
- Chiwetel Ejiofor- 12 Years a Slave as Solomon Northup
- Tom Hanks- Captain Phillips as Captain Richard Phillips
- Matthew McConaughey- Dallas Buyers Club as Ron Woodroof
- Robert Redford- All Is Lost as Our Man

Best Actress:

- Meryll Streep - August: Osage County as Violet Weston
- Cate Blanchett- Blue Jasmine as Jeanette "Jasmine" Francis
- Sandra Bullock- Gravity as Ryan Stone
- Judi Dench- Philomena as Philomena Lee
- Emma Thompson- Saving Mr. Banks as Pamela P.L. Travers

Best Supporting Actor:

- Barkhad Abdi- Captain Phillips as Muse
- Daniel Bruhl- Rush as Niki Lauda
- Bradley Cooper- American Hustle as Richie DiMaso
- Michael Fassbender- 12 Years a Slave as Edwin Epps
- Jared Leto- Dallas Buyers Club as Rayon

Best Supporting Actress:

- Jennifer Lawrence- American Hustle as Rosalyn Rosanfeld
- Lupita Nyong'o- 12 Years a Slave as Patsy
- Julia Roberts- August: Osage County as Barbara Weston - Fordham
- June Squibb- Nebraska as Kate Grant
- Oprah Winfrey- The Butler as Gloria Gaines

Love Makes The World Go Round.

Love

The saying 'love makes the world go round' is accurate in a metaphorical sense. Some people may disagree, saying that greed or money makes the world go round, but in order to be greedy you have to love something (or at least feel passionately about it) and the most common thing greedy people crave is money, even if it is to buy other things.Am I saying that desire also makes the world go round? Well, maybe.  Some people might argue that desire and love are different. Films are made about it, books and songs and poems are written, artists draw paint and sculpt, people spend their entire lives waiting for 'The One'. You can love anything, really a person, place or thing, or maybe even the concept of love itself. But there are also different types of love. You would not love a sibling as you would love a spouse and you would not love your friend as you would love your home or faith. Dictionaries define love as basically a 'passionate feeling of affection' but love is so much more than that. Nearly every human feels love at some point in life, even if it is not their own and just directed at them. Love is not something that can really be described well by anyone, unless they are describing how much love they feel or why to someone who knows what love is. The only concept young children have of love, for example, is the love they feel for their parents. They do not really understand why their parents are together, but they accept that they are because they love each other, and that is all they know.

Part of the reason love is so difficult to define is that it is one of the most complicated feelings in the human range of emotions. I think that love is perhaps a bundle of emotions all felt at the same time and instead of trying to recite this long, and maybe even at times conflicting, list, we call this list love. The list consists of a few staple feelings but depending on the exact thing we are feeling love for, the list can differ greatly. I am not going to talk about everything one might feel as it would take far too long and be very boring to read, so I will talk about the obvious ones and move on.

Obviously, you are 'in love' with something/someone or love something because it brings you happiness (although perhaps not all the time, as I will mention later). If it is love you feel for a person, they have probably made you laugh or have had entertaining conversations with you at some point. They raise your spirits when you are with them.
Maybe even just their being with you makes you happy. My friends and family make me happy. I wouldn't spend large amounts of time with someone,  trust them with my secrets and talk laugh with them, take their advice and give them mine if they didn't make me happy.
If it isn't a person, your religion for example, you might feel happy when you sing a song of praise, when you pray, or maybe just reading your holy book. Religion brings millions of people happiness and security in knowing who they are, what is expected of them in life, how they should live, and what will happen to them when they die. They feel like a part of something on a large scale and it brings people together, the belong, which I am going to talk about next. I personally do not have a religion and so do not have all these additional feelings, and this makes me depend on my family and friends even more than I would if I had one, as I don't look to my god for guidance and help, I look to other people.
Love inspires a feeling of belonging, like belonging in your family or with someone in a relationship or in your favourite chair or in your religious community. When you feel love, you feel complete. The other person in a relationship might 'make you feel whole', your love of your god might fill a hole in your life (or 'heal' you if you perhaps suffered abuse or great sadness at some point), or maybe being with a friend who you trust and have a good time with does the same thing. I know that if I didn't have my friends, I would be much unhappier. Some people don't really value their friends much but if I didn't have friends, who would I gossip with for 15 minutes at break or walk to the shop with for lunch or walk home with? Who would I discuss music and films with? Who would help me decide what to wear and who would comfort me when something bad happened? I can't imagine not having someone there for me or even not being there for someone else.

The Rape of Jessica Soho

Vice Ganda is a star. He has television shows, which he claims have rated on top consistently. He has endorsements, the standard of success for most Philippine celebrities. He asks the public to subscribe to Globe telecom and eat Funtastyk Young Pork Tocino. There are call center agents who file leaves on the days his movies light up the marquee, holding up hand-drawn posters, in the hope that their hero will turn his head and wink on the red carpet.

His celebrity is such that his opinions on a wide variety of issues make newspaper headlines and run as sound bites in the evening news. Senatorial candidates express their gratitude over his endorsements. He says elected candidates should have more legislative experience. His support for family planning was lauded as a brave, progressive move among the purple-clad crowd. He does not refuse interviews, he answers all questions, saying he supports sex change operations and believes sexuality should be irrelevant in the military. He is sharp, witty, irreverent, and straddles both politics and entertainment.

“We need to see people according to their capacities,” he said in an interview in 2011 after the premiere of his film Praybeyt Benjamin. “We will understand people more if we look beyond their appearance.”

Jose Marie Borja Viceral, born March 31, 1976, called Vice Ganda, is aware there are responsibilities that come with rising high.

“I’m enjoying what I am now, and at the same time aware of my responsibility.”

***

Jessica Soho is a journalist. She rose in the ranks at a time when it was difficult to be a woman, especially when that woman is not typical of the rest of the camera-ready long-legged darlings of prime time. She covered war, flood, and political intrigue. She fielded hundreds of reporters and made decisions that changed the face of Philippine media. In the last 30 years she proved herself, again and again, providing women across the country with the possibility that a woman can fight and win.

In the span of two minutes and 31 seconds, a comedian named Vice Ganda decided that all this was not enough, that it was funny, oh so funny, to bring down this public figure to a crass cartoon of all that makes it terrible to be a woman — helpless, hapless, judged for her weight instead of her mind.

And so this man reduced this woman to the unforgettable picture of a fat snorting pig on a shiny platter, all skin and blubber and grease, naked legs akimbo, demanding to be fucked and taken for as long as she had an apple in her mouth.

This is what rape is. It is the use of power over a helpless individual, often a woman, who is violated in the closest and most personal of ways.

In the last few years, the definition has changed. It includes shards of wood shoved up vaginas, as a number of gentlemen did with activist Sherlyn Cadapan when she was abducted by the men of the still-at-large Jovito Palparan. It also includes, although the Supreme Court may disagree, the sexual abuse of a young woman named Nicole in the back of a van behind Neptune Club in Subic, although we are told it is her fault because she was drunk and flirtatious. It includes, for example, the rape by 6 men, mostly teenagers, of a 20-year-old girl on the way home from watching fireworks at one in the morning of January 2012. That was gang rape, and her father wants them all buried behind bars.

In the imagined world created by Vice Ganda, Jessica Soho too was gang raped, only this woman is so desperate that she welcomes the assault.

***

It was a joke, he said. Just a joke. He apologized, he said sorry because “he may have offended Ms Jessica Soho.”

He does not understand why so many made this an issue – it was, after all, just for laughs. He forgets that he held the megaphone and stood on the platform, that it was his choice and his pre-produced, pre-rehearsed script that put Jessica Soho on a weighing scale and seared that image into the national imagination. This angry woman is fat, boys and girls, so fat she will break a scale, so fat her panties are the size of comforters, so fat she can be mistaken for a roast pig. Ding goes the bell, there go the laughs.

This is not just about a rape joke, or about a crass joke, or about Jessica Soho. This is about how this man looks at women, and what he finds funny — so funny that he can barely deliver his lines — and it is a judgment on him as well. He chose to do this, as many men and women have chosen and still choose to do, all the more potent because it was an intelligent, progressive, much adored comedian with followers in the millions who chose to do it, in public, before thousands.

This is correct, he means, this is okay. Laugh, because I am laughing with you.

“Let us stop this,” he said in the monologue he gave as apology over noontime show Showtime. “Let us stop giving opinions especially if you don’t know what happened and if you never watched it, because the world will be more chaotic.”

It is an odd apology, filled with perhapses. Perhaps people were offended. Perhaps they were angry. He promises never to speak of Jessica Soho again, as if the issue were Jessica Soho, and not this brutal attack on the female image. Had it not been Jessica Soho, it would have been the same, only less powerful, less public, less the fall from grace.

You don't get the joke, say his supporters. It’s his right, it’s funny and brilliant and exactly what comedy allows.

This is not about censorship. It is about freedom. Vice Ganda can say what he wants to say, offend whomever he chooses to offend, and if he is excoriated for it, if he is attacked and questioned and called a bully and a bitch, that’s freedom too.

The emperor is naked, and it’s not Jessica Soho. 

<posted and edited by Patricia Evangelista> 

Love and Existence

Sacrifice. Pain. Sorrow. Happiness.  Optimism. Then sacrifice. then pain again.

Sometimes we ask ourselves, Why am I doing this? why I kept on doing this. these.

AM I being punished? But it feels good.

AM I in a state of Insanity? But it feels normal.

IS it worth it? I don't know. But I love it....

I love it...

I love it...

LOVE.

It all goes down to LOVE. The sweetest poison ever created by man's willingness to be involved and to be attached with certainty and security.

Unconditional Love I believe it just IS. It is something that is innate. It is in our true nature and is something that is realized with consciousness rather than developed. Love itself is unconditional, therefore isn't really love in its true sense otherwise.

Acts of selflessness and kindness are a result of unconditional love, but I suppose a good question to ask would be "to what extent do we take action, in the name of unconditional love, without losing ourselves?" Situations may vary of course, but at what point is it more an act of unconditional love to let go and allow someone else to experience what they need to in order for realization to occur, rather than willingly, out of that same unconditional love, sacrifice out of pure selflessness (without co-dependency or expectation), and vice versa?

 ... But what is LOVE without presence?

Presence. Existence.

EXISTENCE.

What is the meaning of life?  Why are we here?  We have all pondered these questions at least once in our lives. Even on this blog.  Will we acquire all of the answers we are searching for after we die?  Probably not.  In our physical form, on this physical plane, we may constantly be searching for answers, which is in our nature, but maybe when we die, our spirit or soul has a completely different agenda and purpose and we won't need them.  Perhaps we go through stages and each one is necessary to move on to the next one.  During this physical stage, our purpose could be to simply share the experience of being human and everything that it encompasses.  Being human, we are able to fully experience the dichotomy or duality of life.  We cannot appreciate or even begin to understand joy and happiness without experiencing pain and suffering.

 To exist is to love is to exist is to love is to exist... these two correlate with each other. and nothing could break the chain called eternity. :)

Why Are We Born If We Have To Die?

Why are we born if we have to die? This is one of the questions raised on one of the most interesting blog sites I've encountered. According to the author, He was asked by his nephew the same question. But the child was not satisfied with his answer. And so i gave mine.

My thoughts for this question are really simple.

To be Born and to Die are just human experiences.

Birth begins our human life experience and death ends it.

“In order to die we have to first be alive, and in order to be alive we need to first be born”

Nature teaches us this in the life cycle of every plant and animal, but as humans we think that we are smarter so this rule should not apply to us.

Most children today seem dissatisfied with simple answers,perhaps because we adults have complicated life experiences for them so much.

The beauty of the human mind is that it has an infinite power to ask all sorts of questions that pertain to even the realms beyond human imagination, but the tragedy is that its comprehensive ability is conditioned and relatively finite and so when the answers to our questions lie beyond our human experiences and imagination we are unable to grasp them.

With advances in thinking of course, we are moving into newer and deeper levels of understanding, but the great unknown always remains one step away from us.

Maybe when we die we might encounter this great unknown and perhaps be able to find the answers to the complicated questions we had while we were alive. This possibility too, as humans we cannot know just yet!!
Until then, its better to keep things simple and give honest and straightforward answers that sometimes are a single line like ” I don’t know”, For most children this is the most satisfying, because it places us at their level and they feel that they can then question and learn with us – and we are not going to give them some pre conceived understanding of what we have, which again complicates their questions further.

From most of the posts a pattern seems to emerge, that as adults it is so easy to take a simple question and get into very complicated insights, but it is hard for us to admit and give a child (or a blog site) the simple reply that “we really don’t know.”

We are being wrapped to idealism and religious belief that we tend to complicate our answers as we don't want to commit mistakes, and we don't want to think beyond the standards that we lived by as we are afraid that our answers - may it be ideas, facts, theories,or even general information could ruin it all. Our fear that our answers may look stupid or be rejected by the society makes us even more stupid. 

to live is to die? such a cliche... a pessimist answer... Most of the times, to live is to make mistakes, to mess around, to fall in love, to be hurt, and to hurt, to try extra ordinary, to love friends, to be bitch, sacrifice, to enjoy... and after that, THE HELL WE CARE!

Choices and Decisions

MAKING CHOICES AND DECISIONS

Life is like a road. There are long and short roads; smooth and rocky roads; crooked and straight paths. In our life many roads would come our way as we journey through life. There are roads that lead to a life of single blessedness, marriage, and religious vocation. There are also roads that lead to fame and fortune on one hand, or isolation and poverty on the other. There are roads to happiness as there are roads to sadness, roads towards victory and jubilation, and roads leading to defeat and disappointment.

Just like any road, there are corners, detours, and crossroads in life. Perhaps the most perplexing road that you would encounter is a crossroad. With four roads to choose from and with limited knowledge on where they would go, which road will you take? What is the guarantee that we would choose the right one along the way? Would you take any road, or just stay where you are: in front of a crossroad?

THERE ARE NO GUARANTEES

You do not really know where a road will lead you until you take it. There are no guarantees. This is one of the most important things you need to realize about life. Nobody said that choosing to do the right thing all the time would always lead you to happiness. Loving someone with all your heart does not guarantee that it would be returned. Gaining fame and fortune does not guarantee happiness.

Accepting a good word from an influential superior to cut your trip short up the career ladder is not always bad, especially if you are highly qualified and competent.  There are too many possible outcomes, which you really cannot control. The only thing you have power over is the decisions that you make, and how you would act and react to different situations.

WRONG DECISIONS ARE ALWAYS AT HINDSIGHT

Had you known that you were making a wrong decision, would you have gone along with it? Perhaps not, why would you choose a certain path when you know it would get you lost? Why make a certain decision if you knew from the very beginning that it is not the right one. It is only after you have made a decision and reflected on it that you realize its soundness. If the consequences or outcomes are good for you, then you know that you have made the right decision. Otherwise, your decision was wrong.

TAKE THE RISK: DECIDE

Since life offers no guarantee and you would never know that your decision would be wrong until you have made it, then you might as well take the risk and decide. It is definitely better than keeping yourself in limbo. Although it is true that one wrong turn could get you lost, it could also be that such a turn could be an opportunity for an adventure, moreover open more roads.

It is all a matter of perspective. You have the choice between being a lost traveler or an accidental tourist of life.  But take caution that you do not make decisions haphazardly. Taking risks is not about being careless and stupid.

GET AS MANY INFORMATION AS YOU CAN IN YOUR SITUATION.

You cannot find the confidence to decide when you know so little about what you are faced with. Just like any news reporter, ask the 5 W’s: what, who, when, where, and why. What is the situation? Who are the people involved? When did this happen? Where is this leading? Why are you in this situation? These are just some of the possible questions to ask in order to know more about your situation. This is important. Oftentimes, the reason for indecision is the lack of information about a situation.

IDENTIFY AND CREATE OPTIONS.

What options do the situation give you? Sometimes the options are few, but sometimes they are numerous. But what do you do when you think that the situation offers no options? This is the time that you create your own. Make your creative mind work. From the most simplistic to the most complicated, entertain all ideas. Do not shoot anything down when an idea comes to your head. Sometimes the most outrageous idea could prove to be the right one in the end. You can ask a friend to help you identify options and even make more options if you encounter some difficulty, but make sure that you make the decision yourself in the end.

WEIGH THE PROS AND CONS OF EVERY OPTION

Assess each option by looking at the advantages and disadvantages it offers you. In this way, you get more insights about the consequences of such an option.

TRUST YOUR SELF AND MAKE THE DECISION.

Now that you have assessed your options, it is now time to trust yourself. Remember that there are no guarantees and wrong decisions are always at hindsight.  So choose… decide… believe that you are choosing the best option at this point in time.

Now that you have made a decision, be ready to face its consequences: good and bad. It may take you to a place of promise or to a land of problems. But the important thing is that you have chosen to live your life instead of remaining a bystander or a passive audience to your own life.

Whether it is the right decision or not, only time can tell. But do not regret it whatever the outcome. Instead, learn from it and remember that you always have the chance to make better decisions in the future.

To Forgive and to Forget.

Somebody told me once that we have to forgive but not to forget, but to remember that one time in our lives we were able to put everything behind us that made us move on to become a better person...

We are human, prone to frailty and impulsiveness bring us to our create our own sorrows. at times, when nothing else matters but the desires of our hearts; we get ourselves into situations we do not think of. we just dive into it, because it looks promising, inviting and tempting.

At first, it feels good. it makes us high, euphoric and it seems like it's never going to end. we are blinded, we do not look anywhere, we're focus on one. we're like horses with patches in their eyes,they cannot look on different directions, just straight ahead; when the reigns are pulled, that is the time when it means they have to move to the left or right maybe.

When we're hurt and deeply wounded emotionally, we tend to get back at the person in any way we can. we avenge and take every step to win. however, come to think of it, we still end up losing. merely, because we are filled with hatred and ill feelings towards others who have caused us pain. And I do not think carrying heavy loads in our lives is an option if we want to live in contentment.

The Very Essence of Letting Go

In your hands is a very precious creation so fragile, so valuable that if you keep on holding it, it either stay or fall apart. But you loved this creature so much that letting it go would be comparable to letting go of your life as well, so much that sometimes you wished it would always be there, so much that you tend to be selfish so as you could make it stay for as long as you want. 

There comes a time in our lives we chance upon  someone "so nice" and "almost perfect" and we just find ourselves getting so intensely attached to that person (sometimes even without realizing it!). This feeling soon becomes a part of our daily lives and eventually guzzles our thoughts and actions to the extent that we dagged it as one of those "too good to be true" things. Then in our desperate attempt to get closer, our efforts are still futile and we still feel sorry for ourselves. 

but still... we wanted it all... we are hoping for a hopeless silver lining... too much. 

One person once said, "Never let your heart run your life. As much as you can always be sensible  and let your mind speak for itself.Try to listen not merely on what your feelings are evoking but more importantly listen to reason as well. " Letting go of someone doesn't necessarily mean you have to stop loving, it only means that you allow the person to find his own happiness without expecting him to come back. 

Letting go is not just letting the other person free "in the real sense of it," but it is also setting yourself free from all animosities, hostility and resentments that was long kept in your heart. You have to let go because the bitterness often diminishes the strength and weakens the little hope left, making our lives more miserable than ever. 

If I lose you today, it means that someone better is coming tomorrow. If I lose love that doesn't mean I failed in love, probably it was another mismatch in heaven...